I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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