But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize