Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
