Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
