you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
