You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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