they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
