im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
