So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
