Whod you bang
I intend to get homeless drunk
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
