so explain again why im purple
no
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
