my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
