Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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