It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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