we have officially lost it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
