I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
