Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
