im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
