Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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