thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
