Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
