Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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