I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
