Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize