he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize