I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
