All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
