This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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