Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
