I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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