Me. At least after what I've been through.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
