my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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