She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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