One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
