i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
