Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
