A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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