Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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