Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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