why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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