I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
