Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
