I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
