bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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