I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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