so explain again why im purple
no
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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