that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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