you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
