I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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