Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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