Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
