So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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