all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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