She said her name was "party"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
