Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
