Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you win again, gameday.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
