Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize