I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
