Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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