How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
