oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
