so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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