I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I lost the right to judge tonight
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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