did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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