In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
