...so i touched it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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